Monday, November 30, 2009

I didn't know personal growth could taste so good.


Well, folks, the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived:

I have officially outgrown my jeans.

I know what you're thinking: 'Really? In only a month on the road?' To which I reply, 'YES. Because I am THAT AWESOME.'

It turns out the road food of America is pretty kick-*ss. (That asterisk is for you, Grampa.) And I like to eat it. ALL of it. And then I like to get in my car after eating it, and drive for hours, and maybe at the other side, I like to sit on  my friends' couches and discuss what's for dinner. Because this is my life now. Just me, and the road, and our food. And this triumvirate of power is warming this cold winter in much the same way as my extra stores of fat. I feel like a survivor in the wilderness, stocking for winter. I feel like a grizzly bear. I feel like I can roar powerful roars into the world as soon as I lift my face from this bloody carcass demanding my attention.

Despite an increase in my body fat and a decrease in my cardiovascular fitness, I feel strong. Almost as strong as the elastic holding up my leggings, which are the only things I can fit into right now. I love you, leggings. You don't judge me. You accept me and envelope me and don't pinch my stomach in half when I sit down. I can't thank you enough for this. I think I want to marry you and bear your children.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go back to my journey...my journey of soul and self. And today this spiritual path is leading me right down to the cheese aisle of the Wisconsin grocery store. Dairy State, let us two be one.

7 comments:

  1. Oh the cheese state, Wisconsin, what would we do without you! The yummiest cheese in all the land!
    Of course we must also bow to the maker of elastic!

    ReplyDelete
  2. so glad to hear that - now i won't look at you and think i've grown tremendously - that happens when i put on weight - i look at others and think when did they get so small.......it's only dawned on me recently that it was my own increasing weight that was causing this error in judgement...

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHA! That explains why everybody I know is looking so skinny!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I KNOW!! Can you believe it?? WHO AM I?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mon amie, you are so SKINNY! Your thighs don't even touch!! And you have a BABY in your belly! Leggings are MADE for you. They are not made for the abuse I give them!

    ReplyDelete